Tamar Extended Response

First Draft:

Tamar’s view of Grandad changed in many ways.  Tamar once described her grandfather as a “ great empty landscape,” a man who was distant. She knew the one person her grandfather had truly loved was his wife, her grandmother. It wasn’t until her grandmother began to lose her mind where Tamar began to see another side of Grandad, a loyal, brave man who was brilliant and very capable of a closeness she’d hadn’t seen in the past.

Tamar once described her grandfather as a “ great empty landscape,” a man who was distant-not very lovable. After Grandad’s son had disappeared, Tamar noticed his sadness as she stated, “he withdrew even further into that remote place.

She knew the one person her grandfather had truly loved was his wife, her grandmother. When his wife began to lose her mind, Tamara watched Grandad take care of his wife with out ever complaining. Tamara realized just how much he loved her. Tamara thought him to be a very private person as he seemed to hate how the doctors, police, social workers and psychiatrists got involved with her grandmother’s care. Tamar, at that point, believed Grandad was missing the point, he wasn’t able to realize that his wife would need to live somewhere else where Grandmother could be cared for.

It wasn’t until her grandmother began to lose her mind where Tamar began to see another side of Grandad, a loyal, brave man who was brilliant and very capable of a closeness she’d hadn’t seen in the past. She saw him as someone in so much pain that he was finally beginning to crumble under the stress of caring for his wife. Tamar realized he needed someone who would love him back because his wife was no longer able to do this. It would be Tamar’s struggle with an algebra class that would ultimately change her view of her grandfather.

Grandad had found a way to help Tamar understand algebra and he had done so in a very encouraging way. As a result, Tamar got to know just how smart her grandfather was and how much he had loved codes and puzzles.. He taught her to love crossword puzzles, codes and how language was like “rubbery plastic.” The two of them grew close and she was able to see just how loving and supportive he could be.

In conclusion, Tamar once viewed Grandad as a distant, not very lovable person who was very private. After his wife became ill, she saw him as a loyal husband who loved his wife and would do anything necessary to care for her. Tamar also found that he needed someone to love him other than Grandmother. He was someone who she could be close to and had a brilliant mind. Tamar realized she needed him as much as he needed her and that she could be the one to love him.

Second Draft:

Tamar’s view of Grandad changed in many ways.    Tamar once described her grandfather as a “ great empty landscape,” a man who was distant. She knew the one person her grandfather had truly loved was his wife, her grandmother. It wasn’t until her grandmother began to lose her mind where Tamar began to see another side of Grandad, a loyal, brave man who was brilliant and very capable of a closeness.

Tamar once described her grandfather as a “ great empty landscape,” a man who was distant-not very lovable. After Grandad’s son had disappeared, Tamar noticed his sadness as she stated, “he withdrew even further into that remote place.

She knew the one person her grandfather had truly loved was his wife, her grandmother. When his wife began to lose her mind, Tamara watched Grandad take care of his wife with out ever complaining. Tamara realized just how much he loved her. Tamara thought him to be a very private person as he seemed to hate how the doctors, police, social workers and psychiatrists got involved in the care of her grandmother. Tamar, at that point, believed Grandad was missing the point, he wasn’t able to see that his wife needed to live somewhere else where Grandmother could be cared for.

It wasn’t until her grandmother began to lose her mind where Tamar began to see another side of Grandad, a loyal, brave man who was brilliant and very capable of a closeness she’d hadn’t experienced past. She saw him as someone in so much pain that he was finally beginning to crumble under the stress of caring for his wife. Tamar realized Grandad needed someone who would love him back because his wife was no longer able to do this. It would be Tamar’s struggle with an algebra class that would ultimately change her view of her grandfather.

Grandad had found a way to help Tamar understand algebra. As a result, Tamar got to know just how smart her grandfather was.The two of them grew close and she was able to see just how loving and supportive he could be.

Tamar once viewed Grandad as a distant, not very lovable person who was very private. After his wife became ill, Tamar saw him as a loyal husband who loved his wife and would do anything necessary to care for her. Tamar realized Grandad needed someone else who could love him because his wife no longer could. Tamar found she could be close to Grandad and that he had a brilliant mind. Tamar realized she needed him as much as he needed her, he indeed was lovable and she could be the one to love him.

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