Dreams I have (First Draft)

Dreams I Have (First Draft)

Hi Magnificent Middle Schoolers!

I am working on a poem and here is the first draft. Please provide some feedback.  I’d like to move into revision of this poem. 

There are so many dreams I have like there would a home

in the state of Vermont

and this home is located near a stream that dances down from the mountains

there would be green hills filled with so many kinds of trees and I could smell the scent of evergreen trees because there so many.

 

There are so many dreams I have

I dream of having a nice garden

and maybe I have a horse in a barn in my backyard

and there would be room for a bike on my front porch

my front porch would smell an apple of pie baking.

 

Those dreams take me far away

from so many things that upset me about the world’s scary news

like when I heard about the shooting in Newtown

and I was so sad because of the lost lives

and I was very upset because many kids had hopes and dreams and were now lost.

 

Those dreams of Vermont happen a lot and follow me.

 

Those dreams soothe me when I barely fall into the darkness of my own

and I always allow those dreams to take over my imagination especially after the 10:00 news.

 

Those dreams make me feel refreshed me and save me from all those bad news reports.

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